Jerry Seinfeld cytaty

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Jerry Seinfeld

Data urodzenia:29. Kwiecień 1954

Jerry Seinfeld – amerykański satyryk i aktor kabaretowy .

Współtwórca sitcomu Kroniki Seinfelda, który w latach 90. był emitowany przez telewizję Canal+. Współproducent i współscenarzysta Filmu o pszczołach z 2007.

Jest wegetarianinem. Posiada liczącą 46 egzemplarzy największą prywatną kolekcję samochodów Porsche na świecie.

Cytaty Jerry Seinfeld

„Czy ktoś mógłby mi wyjaśnić, dla kogo właściwie są wywieszki „Psom wstęp wzbroniony. Nie dotyczy psów przewodników”? Dla psa czy niewidomego?“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„A bookstore is one of the only pieces of physical evidence we have that people are still thinking.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„If I want a long boring story with no point to it, I have my life.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

„Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.“

— Jerry Seinfeld

Dzisiejsze rocznice

Philip Pullman23

pisarz angielski 1946

Umberto Boccioni2

1882 - 1916

Jan Zieja18

polski duchowny katolicki, kapelan Szarych Szeregów i Ar... 1897 - 1991

Ernest Rutherford6

chemik i fizyk z Nowej Zelandii, noblista 1871 - 1937

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