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John Gray (terapeuta) cytaty
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John N. Gray – filozof, politolog, publicysta. Najbardziej znany współczesny angielski myśliciel polityczny, uznawany za ucznia Isaiaha Berlina i Michaela Oakeshotta. Wykładał m.in. na Uniwersytecie Oksfordzkim, Uniwersytecie Harvarda, Uniwersytecie Yale. Obecnie Profesor Myśli Europejskiej London School of Economics.

✵ 17. Kwiecień 1948  •  Natępne imiona John Gray, John Gray (philosopher)
John Gray (terapeuta) Fotografia
John Gray (terapeuta): 180 cytatów0 Polubień

John Gray (terapeuta) słynne cytaty

„Miłość jest cudowna i może trwać, jeśli będziemy pamiętać o naszej odmienności.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

„Na szczęście między tym, co przeżywamy, a doskonałością jest wiele miejsca na… rozwój.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Mężczyźni są z Marsa, kobiety z Wenus

„Miłość nie zawsze jest łatwa, czasem wymaga ciężkiej pracy pod palącym słońcem.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Mężczyźni są z Marsa, kobiety z Wenus

„Mężczyzna wciąż oscyluje między potrzebą bliskości i tęsknotą do niezależności.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

John Gray (terapeuta) cytaty

„Równie ważna jak przebaczanie jest umiejętność przepraszania. Stanowią one dwa skrzydła miłości. Jedno i drugie wymaga czasu. Zawsze gdy związek przeżywa kryzys, działają w nim dwie przeciwne siły. Osoba, która popełnia błąd, musi go dostrzec, jej partner zaś musi starać się przebaczyć. Rany goją się skuteczniej, gdy w procesie leczenia uczestniczą obie strony.
Trudno zapomnieć błąd, gdy małżonek nie przeprasza i nie próbuje go poprawić, trudno też przyznać się do winy i ją naprawić, jeśli partner nie przebacza. Nierozsądne jest oczekiwanie, że druga osoba nigdy nie zawini i tak samo bezsensowne jest założenie, że wszystko można łatwo puścić w niepamięć. Wcale tak nie jest. Nieraz wymaga to wielu miesięcy, a nawet lat.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Zakochani Marsjanie i Wenusjanki

„Człowiek zadowala się ciszą tylko wtedy, gdy prawda jest zbyt okrutna, aby można było ją przyjąć.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Zakochani Marsjanie i Wenusjanki

„Czasami klęska może się okazać zamaskowanym błogosławieństwem.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Zakochani Marsjanie i Wenusjanki

„Miłość może trwać całe życie, ale wymaga ciągłej rezygnacji z wyobrażeń o tym, jaki powinien być nasz partner, akceptacji jego postępowania oraz nieustających starań o lepsze zrozumienie.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Zakochani Marsjanie i Wenusjanki

„Zarówno mężczyźni, jak i kobiety posługują się językiem w celu stwierdzenia faktów lub rozwiązywania problemów, lecz kobiety używają języka również po to, aby przekonać się, co chcą powiedzieć (…).”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Zakochani Marsjanie i Wenusjanki

„Stanowcze „nie” wobec egoistycznych zachowań może wydawać się bezlitosne, lecz pozwalanie komuś, aby ciągle nas ranił, nie jest przejawem miłości.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Zakochani Marsjanie i Wenusjanki

„Problemy w intymnych związkach są doświadczeniem skazującym chyba na największą samotność.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Zakochani Marsjanie i Wenusjanki

„Kobiety używają języka podobnie jak mężczyźni, aby stwierdzać fakty i rozwiązywać problemy. Jednak mówią również, aby odkryć, co chcą powiedzieć; czasami nazywają swoje uczucia, aby je uporządkować i dzięki temu poczuć się lepiej.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Zakochani Marsjanie i Wenusjanki

„Każda przesada w postępowaniu jest w istocie wyrazem stłumionego kiedyś bólu.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

Mężczyźni są z Marsa, kobiety z Wenus

„Sekret „podbudowania” mężczyzny leży w tym, by pod żadnym pozorem nie starać się go zmienić.”

John Gray (terapeuta)

John Gray (terapeuta): Cytaty po angielsku

“There are not two kinds of human being, savage and civilized. There is only the human animal, forever at war with itself.”

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John Gray

An Old Chaos: Frozen Horses and Deserts of Brick (p. 25)
The Silence of Animals: On Progress and Other Modern Myths (2013)

“Like most philosophers, Kant worked to shore up the conventional beliefs of his time. Schopenhauer did the opposite. Accepting the arguments of Hume and Kant that the world is unknowable, he concluded that both the world and the individual subject that imagines it knows it are maya, dreamlike constructions with no basis in reality. … Schopenhauer accepted the sceptical side of Kant's philosophy and turned it against him. Kant demonstrated that we are trapped in the world of phenomena and cannot know things in themselves. Schopenhauer went one step further and observed that we ourselves belong in the world of appearances. Unlike Kant, Schopenhauer was ready to follow his thoughts wherever they led. Kant argued that unless we accept that we are autonomous, freely choosing selves we cannot make sense of our moral experience. Schopenhauer responded that our actual experience is not of freely choosing the way we live but of being driven along by our bodily needs - by fear, hunger and, above all, sex.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Deception: Schopenhauer's Crux (p. 42-3)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“Our intellects are not impartial observers of the world but active participants in it. They shape a view of it that helps us in our struggles. Among the imaginary constructions created by the intellect working in the service of the will, perhaps the most delusive is the view it gives us of ourselves - as continuing, unified individuals.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Deception: Schopenhauer's Crux (p. 44)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“No doubt markets transmit information in the way that Hayek claimed. But what reason is there to believe that – unlike any other social institution – they have a built-in capacity to correct their mistakes? History hardly supports the supposition. Moods of irrational exuberance and panic can, and often do, swamp the price-discovery functions of markets.”

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John Gray

The Friedrich Hayek I knew, and what he got right - and wrong (2015)

“Ridden with conflicts and lacking the industrial base of communism and nazism, Islamism is nowhere near a danger of the magnitude of those that were faced down in the 20th century.”

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John Gray

The Atheist Delusion (2008)

“Science cannot be used to reshape humankind in a more rational mould. Any new-model humanity will only reproduce the familiar deformities of its designers. It is a strange fancy to suppose that science can bring reason to an irrational world, when all it can ever do is give another twist to the normal madness.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Human: Truth and Consequences (p. 28)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“Evangelical atheists preach the need for a scientific view of things, but a settled view does not go with scientific method. If we know anything it is that most of the theories that prevail at any one time are false. Scientific theories are not components of a world-view but tools we use to tinker with the world.”

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John Gray

Sweet Morality (p. 224)
The Immortalization Commission: The Strange Quest to Cheat Death (2011)

“Science will never be used chiefly to pursue truth, or to improve human life. The uses of knowledge will always be as shifting and crooked as humans are themselves. Humans use what they know to meet their most urgent needs – even if the result is ruin.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Human: Truth and Consequences (p. 28)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“Through fasting, concentration and prayer, mystics shut out the shifting world of the senses in order to reach a timeless reality. Quite often they find what they seek - but it is only a shadow play, an arabesque of their own anxieties, projected onto an inner screen. They end as they began, stuck fast in the personal time of memory and regret.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

As It Is: Turning Back (p. 198)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“Talk of secularism is meaningful when it refers to the weakness of traditional religious belief or the lack of power of churches and other religious bodies. That is what is meant when we say Britain is a more secular country than the United States, and in this sense secularism is an achievable condition. But if it means a type of society in which religion is absent, secularism is a kind of contradiction, for it is defined by what it excludes. Post-Christian secular societies are formed by the beliefs they reject, whereas a society that had truly left Christianity behind would lack the concepts that shaped secular thought.”

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John Gray książka Black Mass: Apocalyptic Religion and the Death of Utopia

Post-Apocalypse: After Secularism (pp. 267-8)
Black Mass: Apocalyptic Religion and the Death of Utopia (2007)

“The basis of the [scientific] method is a belief in natural uniformity – if two events are regularly connected in our observations we can conclude that they obey a universal law. But this is not a conclusion we reach by observation. No amount of evidence can demonstrate the existence of laws of nature, since new experience can always overturn them. Science rests on the belief that the future will be like the past; but that belief is rationally groundless. This is not a new line of thinking. David Hume argued that the expectation that the future will be like the past, which is the basis of induction, is a matter of habit. Hume wanted to show that since miracles transgress known laws of nature it was unreasonable to accept reports of them, in the Bible or anywhere else. But his arguments against induction showed that the laws of nature could not in fact be known, so events that seemed impossible could happen at any time. The upshot was that faith in miracles returned by the back door of sceptical doubt.”

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John Gray

Cross-correspondences (p. 68)
The Immortalization Commission: The Strange Quest to Cheat Death (2011)

“We cannot be rid of illusions. Illusion is our natural condition. Why not accept it?”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Deception: The Ultimate Dream (p. 81)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“The idea of evil as it appears in modern secular thought is an inheritance from Christianity. To be sure, rationalists have repudiated the idea; but it is not long before they find they cannot do without it. What has been understood as evil in the past, they insist, is error – a product of ignorance that human beings can overcome. Here they are repeating a Zoroastrian theme, which was absorbed into later versions of monotheism: the belief that ‘as the “lord of creation” man is at the forefront of the contest between the powers of Truth and Untruth.’ But how to account for the fact that humankind is deaf to the voice of reason? At this point rationalists invoke sinister interests – wicked priests, profiteers from superstition, malignant enemies of enlightenment, secular incarnations of the forces of evil. As so often is the case, secular thinking follows a pattern dictated by religion while suppressing religion’s most valuable insights. Modern rationalists reject the idea of evil while being obsessed by it. Seeing themselves as embattled warriors in a struggle against darkness, it has not occurred to them to ask why humankind is so fond of the dark. They are left with the same problem of evil that faces religion. The difference is that religious believers know they face an insoluble difficulty, while secular believers do not. Aware of the evil in themselves, traditional believers know it cannot be expelled from the world by human action. Lacking this saving insight, secular believers dream of creating a higher species. They have not noticed the fatal flaw in their schemes: any such species will be created by actually existing human beings.”

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John Gray

The Faith of Puppets: The Faith of Puppets (p. 18-9)
The Soul of the Marionette: A Short Enquiry into Human Freedom (2015)

“Pogroms are as old as Christendom; but without railways, the telegraph and poison gas there could have been no Holocaust. There have always been tyrannies; but without modern means of transport and communication, Stalin and Mao could not have built their gulags.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Human: Why Humanity Will Never Master Technology (p. 14)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“I may not be as unambiguously hostile to capitalism as many people are, but what I don't like about it is the commodification of personal experiences, it turns everyone into actors.”

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John Gray

Quoted in Will Self, "John Gray: Forget everything you know," http://web.archive.org/web/20080403080859/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/john-gray-forget-everything-you-know-641878.html The Independent (2002-09-03)

“Postmodernists parade their relativism as a superior kind of humility — the modest acceptance that we cannot claim to have the truth. In fact, the postmodern denial of truth is the worst kind of arrogance. In denying that the natural world exists independently of our beliefs about it, postmodernists are implicitly rejecting any limit on human ambitions. By making human beliefs the final arbiter of reality, they are in effect claiming that nothing exists unless it appears in human consciousness.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Deception: Postmodernism (p. 54-55)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“Hobbes’s understanding of the dangers of anarchy resonates powerfully today. Liberal thinkers still see the unchecked power of the state as the chief danger to human freedom. Hobbes knew better: freedom’s worst enemy is anarchy, which is at its most destructive when it is a battleground of rival faiths. The sectarian death squads roaming Baghdad show that fundamentalism is itself a type of anarchy in which each prophet claims divine authority to rule. In well-governed societies, the power of faith is curbed. The state and the churches temper the claims of revelation and enforce peace. Where this kind is impossible, tyranny is better than being ruled by warring prophets. Hobbes is a more reliable guide to the present than the liberal thinkers who followed. Yet his view of human beings was too simple, and overly rationalistic. Assuming that humans dread violent death more than anything, he left out the most intractable sources of conflict. It is not always because human beings act irrationally that they fail to achieve peace. Sometimes it is because they do not want peace. They may want the victory of the One True Faith – whether a traditional religion or a secular successor such as communism, democracy or universal human rights. Or – like the young people who joined far-Left terrorist groups in the 1970s, another generation of which is now joining Islamist networks – they may find in war a purpose that is lacking in peace. Nothing is more human than the readiness to kill and die in order to secure a meaning in life.”

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John Gray książka Black Mass: Apocalyptic Religion and the Death of Utopia

Post-Apocalypse: After Secularism (pp. 262-3)
Black Mass: Apocalyptic Religion and the Death of Utopia (2007)

“The heterodox current in Judaism led by Jesus seems to have had no notion of an immortal soul, created by God and then infused into the body: immortality meant being raised from the dead in the body one had in life, then living for ever in a world without decay or corruption. In the Christian religion invented by Paul and Augustine, which was strongly influenced by Plato, immortality meant something quite different – a life out of time, enjoyed by the ‘soul’ or ‘spirit’ of the departed. How this Platonic immortality could preserve anything like the persons that once lived was not made clear.”

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John Gray

Cross-correspondences (pp. 32-3)
The Immortalization Commission: The Strange Quest to Cheat Death (2011)

“Not everything in religion is precious or deserving of reverence. There is an inheritance of anthropocentrism, the ugly fantasy that the Earth exists to serve humans, which most secular humanists share. There is the claim of religious authorities, also made by atheist regimes, to decide how people can express their sexuality, control their fertility and end their lives, which should be rejected categorically. Nobody should be allowed to curtail freedom in these ways, and no religion has the right to break the peace.”

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John Gray

The Atheist Delusion (2008)

“Most people today think they belong to a species that can be master of its destiny. This is faith, not science. We do not speak of a time when whales or gorillas will be masters of their destinies. Why then humans?”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Human: Science versus Humanism (p. 3)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“In the Greek world in which Homer's songs were sung, it was taken for granted that everyone's life is ruled by fate and chance. For Homer, human life is a succession of contingencies: all good things are vulnerable to fortune. Socrates could not accept this archaic tragic vision. He believed that virtue and happiness were one and the same: nothing can harm a truly good man. So he re-envisioned the good to make it indestructible. Beyond the goods of human life - health, beauty, pleasure, friendship, life itself - there was a Good that surpassed them all. In Plato, this became the idea of the Form of the Good, the mystical fusion of all values into a harmonious spiritual whole - an idea later absorbed into the Christian conception of God. But the idea that ethics is concerned with a kind of value that is beyond contingency, that can somehow prevail over any kind of loss or misfortune, came from Socrates. It was he who invented 'morality.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Vices of Morality: Socrates, the inventor of morality (p. 106)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“Hayek’s blind spot with regard to politics was clear in the early 1980s when the first Thatcher government, in an attempt to reduce inflation and bring the public finances closer to a balanced budget, was raising interest rates and cutting public spending. As he had done during the 1930s, Hayek attacked these policies as not being severe enough. It would be better, he told me in a conversation we had around this time, if Thatcher imposed a more drastic contraction on the economy so that the wage-setting power of the trade unions could be broken. He appeared unfazed by unemployment, which was already higher (more than three million people) than at any time since the 1930s, and would rise much further if his recommendations were accepted.”

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John Gray

The Friedrich Hayek I knew, and what he got right - and wrong (2015)

“Freud taught that for any human being kindness or cruelty, having a sense of justice or lacking it, depend on the accidents of childhood. We all know this to be true, but it goes against much of what we say we believe. We cannot give up the pretence that being good is something anyone can achieve. If we did, we would have to admit that, like beauty and intelligence, goodness is a gift of fortune. We would have to accept that, in the parts of our lives where we are most attached to it, freedom of the will is an illusion.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Vices of Morality: Psychoanalysis and moral luck (p. 104)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“The mass political movements of the 20th century were vehicles for myths inherited from religion, and it is no accident that religion is reviving now that these movements have collapsed.”

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John Gray

The Atheist Delusion (2008)

“The irony of scientific progress is that in solving human problems it creates problems that are not humanly soluble. Science has given humans a kind of power over the natural world achieved by no other animal. It has not given humans the ability to remodel the planet according to their wishes. The Earth is not a clock that can be wound up and stopped at will. A living system, the planet will surely rebalance itself. It will do so, however, without any regard for humans.”

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John Gray

Sweet Morality (p. 212)
The Immortalization Commission: The Strange Quest to Cheat Death (2011)

“Religious fundamentalists see themselves as having remedies for the maladies of the modern world. In reality they are symptoms of the disease they pretend to cure. They hope to recover the unreflective faith of traditional cultures, but this is a peculiarly modern fantasy. We cannot believe as we please; our beliefs are traces left by our unchosen lives. A view of the world is not something that can be conjured up as and when we please.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Human: Against fundamentalism ― religious and scientific (p. 18)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

“If you want to understand the beliefs that are shaping global politics, read the Book of Revelation.”

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John Gray

Review: Sacred Causes http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2006/oct/28/politics by Michael Burleigh (2006-10-28)

“If our universe is one of many, unlike others in containing observers like ourselves, there is no need to posit a designer. Most universes will be too chaotic to allow the emergence of life or mind. In that case, the fact that humans exist in this universe needs no special explanation”

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John Gray

Sweet Morality (p. 222)
Źródło: The Immortalization Commission: The Strange Quest to Cheat Death (2011)

“In the world as we find it, even the barest requirements of a life worth living cannot all be always met in full. Toppling a tyranny may trigger civil war. Protecting a broad range of liberal freedoms may result in the regime that guarantees them being short lived. At the same time, supporting a strong state as a bulwark against anarchy may worsen the abuse of power. Wise policy can temper these conflicts. It cannot hope to overcome them.”

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John Gray

'Modus Vivendi' (p.28)
Gray's Anatomy: Selected Writings (2009)

“Anyone who truly wants to escape human solipsism should not seek out empty places. Instead of fleeing to the desert, where they will be thrown back into their own thoughts, they will do better to seek the company of other animals. A zoo is a better window from which to look out of the human world than a monastery.”

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John Gray książka Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals

The Unsaved: The Mirror of Solitude (p. 150-1)
Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals (2002)

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